Just my tree....and a few balls!!!!

Just a few pics of my beloved white christmas tree, which i bought to colour match my living room (sad i know) and because i couldn't find my other one i looked high and bloody low for the thing, so i gave up in the end, i can only assume i gave it to the ex-wife? otherwise the christmas tree fairy must of took it!!!!

Squirrels, a Monkey and a Musuem...

Last Thursday I had a day off, so decided to head to Bristol for a nose about as I’d already got all my Christmas pressies so thought I’d have a good time laughing at people panic buying and stuff, lol.

Went first to Bristol Museum as I’d never been before, didn’t bother with a map, that would be too easy so just used my famous sense of direction to find it and got lost, not that I expected any less and was only half a mile out to be fair to myself, that’s close for me, seen a squirrel on the way though which I would of missed otherwise by taking the so called ‘proper route’, the little nut nibbler….

When I finally made it into the museum, that was jam packed with school kids by the way, who all seemed to think they knew me as more than one of them said ‘alright mister?’, they must of thought I was a tour guide or something as I suppose I do have that intelligent and witty I-look-like-I-know-something-about-this-stuff-but-really-know-bugger-all look.

Spent a while perusing around the museum and then spotted my squirrel friend’s long lost buddy, stuffed and all god bless him, showing what happens when you nibble on one too many nuts!!!

Seen a big gorilla too and a few Egyptian mummies, so all in all quite a good museum, plus I saw an animal that reminds me of someone from work, I won’t mention no names the picture says it all…..

The last picture made me jump and gave me goose pimples, the resemblance is uncanny, lol.

After seeing the last thing or whatever it was, I had to leave the museum, I was still shaking walking out of the place but then five minutes later it started hammering down with rain and I got drenched, that soon woke me up I can tell you.

Just spent the rest of the day looking around the shops and sampling a few Christmas ales and a big german sausage (not that kind there was a german xmas market there).

Nearly crippled myself from walking so much too, shows how unfit I really am, I had to try my best when walking out of the train station when I got back to beloved Port Talbot from looking like a limping twat in front of all the workers heading home, my feet still hurt now and its two bloody days later!!! 

An update, two years in brief!!!!

How do I sum up the last two years my life? Lol, the last time I wrote on here I was engaged and writing about how much I loved my beautiful fiancé etc., since then I’ve been married, got divorced and had the most amazing little son in the world born, so I guess you could say a lot has happened.

I have more regrets than I could ever count and really wish my life hadn’t gone this way these last few years, but I can’t change any of that, only the future, I will always care for my ex-wife no matter what and want to see her happy as this is all I’ve ever wanted from day one, she is a fantastic mum, so I can see why my son loves her so much (you can see it in his eyes), I’m so sorry for the ways things have turned out, there’s not a day goes by that I don’t wish it could have been different but I can’t have no regrets anymore they don’t work, they can only hurt and I just can’t hurt no more, onwards is the only way forward now.

So despite everything that has happened, I do feel truly blessed to have such a beautiful and fantastic son, who is growing up so quick, I can’t believe how much he changes everytime I see him, he is so full of life and never fails to bring a big smile to my face.  Words cannot express how much I really love him, he’s a little ball of bubbling energy and is learning so much everyday, he really does amaze me, I can’t believe how much he picks up on stuff and what with his tiny mannerisms too and little mumbled talk, I’d love to know what he trying to say, lol, it takes my breath away just watching him.

The question is what now then? and god only knows is my answer, just enjoy every second with my son and try to be happy in my own lonely little world, lol.

Christmas is coming, so I have my shiny white tree up already with snowman lights, so nothing left to say I guess apart from Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year everybody and I hope somebody actually reads this stuff, Paul’s followers = zero to date but I suppose that makes sense with one update in two years!!!!.

Over n out.

A lost fuel cap somebody help

My last post was kinda jumbled as i was going to talk about bath but got side tracked, so i gonna try again but this time actually talk about the title, lol.

Well tonight myself and my beautiful fiancee decided to go and get a chinese but first my fiancee needed to fill her car up with petrol, to which i thought no problem, how hard can that be, oh how wrong i was!!!!.

The filling the car up part was not problem, she did that well from what i could tell, she took off the HUGE PETROL CAP and put petrol in and i thought that was that, now time to head for a nice chinese. So after filling up, we proceeded to drive off towards a roundabout at which point i heard a clunk, clunk, double clunk, so i said calmly you did put the bloody full cap back on didn't you? to which she replied umm, umm, 'have you got a small penis?' (she didn't really say that) but i've got to jazz it up a little bit, to which i replied 'i take that as a no then LOVE?'.

As always i was correct, she'd driven off with the full cap on the roof, it didn't surprise me, i was almost expecting something like that, it's kinda like a trademark for her.

I thought pull over now we'll jump out and have a look, now a fuel cap isn't exactly small, it well big n black and well you know what kind of image that normally conjours up, so i thoght no problem we'll spot it straight away but oh no, we look high and low, but we could find that huge fuel cap anywhere.

So we just drove on got a chinese and went home (we'll have a look tommorrow). I thought this was the end of my exciting night but my fiancee, Denine had other plans, i get home and start to dish up the chinese when i hear a smashing sound, she'd only managed to knock down one of my beloved 'Alfred Hitchcock' framed posters and smashed the glass, grrr, i thought right Paul calm down all the excitement and stuff is over, but it wasn't.

We then proceeded to eat our chinese and watch a film, all with little or no excitement, but after this we proceed to go up stairs so i can tuck her into bed before coming down to write my blog at which point she says where's my phone? can you ring it please, so i do and we can hear it ringing but can't see it. Earlier in the afternoon she'd been to Boots the chemist and bought something and out of the corner of her eye she can see the bag moving, but i thought her mobile can't be in there, the bag has a knot tied in it but it was, god give me strength i'm marrying this women, how can you put a mobile in a plastic bag, a small one too and tie a knot in it? lol. (Denine, Denine, i do love you even with you little denine-isms!!!!).

May the fosters be with me and god have mercy on my soul,

Paul.

Bath (the town not as in a bath, that would be silly, lol),

Good day one and all,

Well what can i say, this week has been a bloody busy time for me, it all started last thursday (the week before) when i get a phone call from my 'missis' telling me that she's been asked (she's a carer and occasionally looks after me too, lol) to help out in her company's Bath branch by going there for five days, so i said way hey babe free holiday, when do you leave and can i come? to which she replied 'bugger off, i wanna have a good time, lol', thankfully she was joking (partly), so to celebrate i decided to go out the next night with my mate gareth and his buddy for one or two drink in swansea and this is where it becomes a blur for a short while.

Put it this way we got drunk, which is nothing out of the ordinary, it happens, well weekly but this was different it didn't involve just beer, oh no this included free shots, alot of them, and blurred memories, i remember dancing in my normal super cool, John Travolta kinda fashion and then the next thing you know i'm waking up in the morning on my new leather couch with a cheese and chilli mayonnaise roll stuck to both the sofa and the back of my shirt. Now don't ask me what happened, i vaguely remember taking the roll from the fridge and taking a few bites (from the roll) on my silky smooth new sofa, obviously i didn't realise that chilli mayonnaise had not only gone straight down the front of my shirt but also on the left arm and not to let it feel left out the right arm too (how is it possible for me too of got it so, well bloody everywhere!!!!), plus i now also had some on the back of my shirt, so you could say that i did a 360 sandwich spill on my shirt and managed to crush it into the shirt, flat like a pancake. (i have previously slept on my items like a toffee barrel, crisps, a fruit salad chew, a selection of other chocolates, which i even had to gently sniff to make sure it wasn't poop).

This wasn't the best thing to wake up to on a saturday, so as my wonderful fiancee had missed the state on me and had gone to work (lucky for me), so i jump straight up slowly and for no apparent reason decided to do some washing, lol. (Yep you guessed it the chilli mayonnaise stains didn't come out, so its another shirt for the bin, just like the one which i spewed down the arm of one staurday night and managed to dissolve away the strips, i don't have normal spew, oh no, i have toxic super spew, bluuurrrrggghhhhh!!!!!).

Another exciting tale will be coming soon. (i know your all waiting with baited breath).

May the fosters be with me,

Paul.