Bath (the town not as in a bath, that would be silly, lol),

Good day one and all,

Well what can i say, this week has been a bloody busy time for me, it all started last thursday (the week before) when i get a phone call from my 'missis' telling me that she's been asked (she's a carer and occasionally looks after me too, lol) to help out in her company's Bath branch by going there for five days, so i said way hey babe free holiday, when do you leave and can i come? to which she replied 'bugger off, i wanna have a good time, lol', thankfully she was joking (partly), so to celebrate i decided to go out the next night with my mate gareth and his buddy for one or two drink in swansea and this is where it becomes a blur for a short while.

Put it this way we got drunk, which is nothing out of the ordinary, it happens, well weekly but this was different it didn't involve just beer, oh no this included free shots, alot of them, and blurred memories, i remember dancing in my normal super cool, John Travolta kinda fashion and then the next thing you know i'm waking up in the morning on my new leather couch with a cheese and chilli mayonnaise roll stuck to both the sofa and the back of my shirt. Now don't ask me what happened, i vaguely remember taking the roll from the fridge and taking a few bites (from the roll) on my silky smooth new sofa, obviously i didn't realise that chilli mayonnaise had not only gone straight down the front of my shirt but also on the left arm and not to let it feel left out the right arm too (how is it possible for me too of got it so, well bloody everywhere!!!!), plus i now also had some on the back of my shirt, so you could say that i did a 360 sandwich spill on my shirt and managed to crush it into the shirt, flat like a pancake. (i have previously slept on my items like a toffee barrel, crisps, a fruit salad chew, a selection of other chocolates, which i even had to gently sniff to make sure it wasn't poop).

This wasn't the best thing to wake up to on a saturday, so as my wonderful fiancee had missed the state on me and had gone to work (lucky for me), so i jump straight up slowly and for no apparent reason decided to do some washing, lol. (Yep you guessed it the chilli mayonnaise stains didn't come out, so its another shirt for the bin, just like the one which i spewed down the arm of one staurday night and managed to dissolve away the strips, i don't have normal spew, oh no, i have toxic super spew, bluuurrrrggghhhhh!!!!!).

Another exciting tale will be coming soon. (i know your all waiting with baited breath).

May the fosters be with me,

Paul.