My last post was kinda jumbled as i was going to talk about bath but got side tracked, so i gonna try again but this time actually talk about the title, lol.
Well tonight myself and my beautiful fiancee decided to go and get a chinese but first my fiancee needed to fill her car up with petrol, to which i thought no problem, how hard can that be, oh how wrong i was!!!!.
The filling the car up part was not problem, she did that well from what i could tell, she took off the HUGE PETROL CAP and put petrol in and i thought that was that, now time to head for a nice chinese. So after filling up, we proceeded to drive off towards a roundabout at which point i heard a clunk, clunk, double clunk, so i said calmly you did put the bloody full cap back on didn't you? to which she replied umm, umm, 'have you got a small penis?' (she didn't really say that) but i've got to jazz it up a little bit, to which i replied 'i take that as a no then LOVE?'.
As always i was correct, she'd driven off with the full cap on the roof, it didn't surprise me, i was almost expecting something like that, it's kinda like a trademark for her.
I thought pull over now we'll jump out and have a look, now a fuel cap isn't exactly small, it well big n black and well you know what kind of image that normally conjours up, so i thoght no problem we'll spot it straight away but oh no, we look high and low, but we could find that huge fuel cap anywhere.
So we just drove on got a chinese and went home (we'll have a look tommorrow). I thought this was the end of my exciting night but my fiancee, Denine had other plans, i get home and start to dish up the chinese when i hear a smashing sound, she'd only managed to knock down one of my beloved 'Alfred Hitchcock' framed posters and smashed the glass, grrr, i thought right Paul calm down all the excitement and stuff is over, but it wasn't.
We then proceeded to eat our chinese and watch a film, all with little or no excitement, but after this we proceed to go up stairs so i can tuck her into bed before coming down to write my blog at which point she says where's my phone? can you ring it please, so i do and we can hear it ringing but can't see it. Earlier in the afternoon she'd been to Boots the chemist and bought something and out of the corner of her eye she can see the bag moving, but i thought her mobile can't be in there, the bag has a knot tied in it but it was, god give me strength i'm marrying this women, how can you put a mobile in a plastic bag, a small one too and tie a knot in it? lol. (Denine, Denine, i do love you even with you little denine-isms!!!!).
May the fosters be with me and god have mercy on my soul,
Paul.
Friday, 28 August 2009
Bath (the town not as in a bath, that would be silly, lol),
Good day one and all,
Well what can i say, this week has been a bloody busy time for me, it all started last thursday (the week before) when i get a phone call from my 'missis' telling me that she's been asked (she's a carer and occasionally looks after me too, lol) to help out in her company's Bath branch by going there for five days, so i said way hey babe free holiday, when do you leave and can i come? to which she replied 'bugger off, i wanna have a good time, lol', thankfully she was joking (partly), so to celebrate i decided to go out the next night with my mate gareth and his buddy for one or two drink in swansea and this is where it becomes a blur for a short while.
Put it this way we got drunk, which is nothing out of the ordinary, it happens, well weekly but this was different it didn't involve just beer, oh no this included free shots, alot of them, and blurred memories, i remember dancing in my normal super cool, John Travolta kinda fashion and then the next thing you know i'm waking up in the morning on my new leather couch with a cheese and chilli mayonnaise roll stuck to both the sofa and the back of my shirt. Now don't ask me what happened, i vaguely remember taking the roll from the fridge and taking a few bites (from the roll) on my silky smooth new sofa, obviously i didn't realise that chilli mayonnaise had not only gone straight down the front of my shirt but also on the left arm and not to let it feel left out the right arm too (how is it possible for me too of got it so, well bloody everywhere!!!!), plus i now also had some on the back of my shirt, so you could say that i did a 360 sandwich spill on my shirt and managed to crush it into the shirt, flat like a pancake. (i have previously slept on my items like a toffee barrel, crisps, a fruit salad chew, a selection of other chocolates, which i even had to gently sniff to make sure it wasn't poop).
This wasn't the best thing to wake up to on a saturday, so as my wonderful fiancee had missed the state on me and had gone to work (lucky for me), so i jump straight up slowly and for no apparent reason decided to do some washing, lol. (Yep you guessed it the chilli mayonnaise stains didn't come out, so its another shirt for the bin, just like the one which i spewed down the arm of one staurday night and managed to dissolve away the strips, i don't have normal spew, oh no, i have toxic super spew, bluuurrrrggghhhhh!!!!!).
Another exciting tale will be coming soon. (i know your all waiting with baited breath).
May the fosters be with me,
Paul.
Well what can i say, this week has been a bloody busy time for me, it all started last thursday (the week before) when i get a phone call from my 'missis' telling me that she's been asked (she's a carer and occasionally looks after me too, lol) to help out in her company's Bath branch by going there for five days, so i said way hey babe free holiday, when do you leave and can i come? to which she replied 'bugger off, i wanna have a good time, lol', thankfully she was joking (partly), so to celebrate i decided to go out the next night with my mate gareth and his buddy for one or two drink in swansea and this is where it becomes a blur for a short while.
Put it this way we got drunk, which is nothing out of the ordinary, it happens, well weekly but this was different it didn't involve just beer, oh no this included free shots, alot of them, and blurred memories, i remember dancing in my normal super cool, John Travolta kinda fashion and then the next thing you know i'm waking up in the morning on my new leather couch with a cheese and chilli mayonnaise roll stuck to both the sofa and the back of my shirt. Now don't ask me what happened, i vaguely remember taking the roll from the fridge and taking a few bites (from the roll) on my silky smooth new sofa, obviously i didn't realise that chilli mayonnaise had not only gone straight down the front of my shirt but also on the left arm and not to let it feel left out the right arm too (how is it possible for me too of got it so, well bloody everywhere!!!!), plus i now also had some on the back of my shirt, so you could say that i did a 360 sandwich spill on my shirt and managed to crush it into the shirt, flat like a pancake. (i have previously slept on my items like a toffee barrel, crisps, a fruit salad chew, a selection of other chocolates, which i even had to gently sniff to make sure it wasn't poop).
This wasn't the best thing to wake up to on a saturday, so as my wonderful fiancee had missed the state on me and had gone to work (lucky for me), so i jump straight up slowly and for no apparent reason decided to do some washing, lol. (Yep you guessed it the chilli mayonnaise stains didn't come out, so its another shirt for the bin, just like the one which i spewed down the arm of one staurday night and managed to dissolve away the strips, i don't have normal spew, oh no, i have toxic super spew, bluuurrrrggghhhhh!!!!!).
Another exciting tale will be coming soon. (i know your all waiting with baited breath).
May the fosters be with me,
Paul.
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